The Wisdom of a College Suburbanite Hermit

“Conventional wisdom” tells us women are crazy and men are heartless, but the more relationship stories I hear the more I think its precisely the reverse.

Wow, I just saw an add on youtube for a site that tracks the supernatural, which claims that youtube censors reports of the super-natural.

Oh well, Phenotrack might be good for inspiring my upcoming Assassin’s Creed fanfiction.

Dear Girls,

If you’re sick of being “objectified” and want to have it “like the guys”, you can.  Or at least, you can have it more like us.  How?  Simple.  Stop wearing make up, stop squeezing into those skin tight pants, and eat some McDonalds.  

But then you say you feel “worthless.”  Why?  Because the opposite gender almost never hits on you.  Because you get rejected 9 out of 10 times you hit on them.  Because you’re treated like you’re not in the room until you say something.  Because you’re treated like you have no intrinsic value, and only get people to give a damn about you if you earn it through work, intelligence, charm, friendship, or talent.

Well congratulations.  That’s what it’s like being a guy.  Mission accomplished.

You have the choice to go either way, and you usually chose to not to have it our way.  So don’t tell me we have it better. (Although I am very thankful I don’t get periods)

Every girl thinks she’s ugly.  Every guy thinks he’s hot.

Theoretically, a livable wage is just enough to keep someone alive and in working condition.  It is often called “wage slavery” because even a slave master needed to keep most of his slaves alive, so if your employer is only paying you this much, you are being treated like a slave.

Anyone who’s been to a third world country knows the term “livable wage” and “wage slavery” is horribly abused in America. The excuse for this abuse is that “the cost of living” is different depending on where you live.  Although that’s partially true, it is mostly not.  If you’ve ever seen how people who make two dollars a day live, it is NOT a far cry from how an American would have to live making the same: living in a self-constructed shack, eating from giant bags of rice, beans, and grains, washing clothes in the river, etc. 

But one criterion we should all be able to agree on is that, the lower the pay, the more valid it is to classify a career as “wage slavery.”

Yet from what I’ve observed…

Someone makes 40,000 dollars a year.

Society says: IT’S JUST ENOUGH TO MAKE ENDS MEET.  BOOOHOOOOHOOOO!  PITY THEM!  THEY ARE JUST STRUGGLING TO SURVIVE.

Someone in America makes minimum wage (which I think is about 17,000 a year).  

Society says: OH MY GOD, IT’S MODERN DAY SLAVERY!  I CAN’T LOOK.

A Mexican illegal comes over the border, and makes far LESS than minimum wage.  

Society says: DON’T SEND HIM BACK, HE’S FINALLY GETTING AN OPPORTUNITY TO THRIVE!

A Sri Lankan kid makes four dollars a day working at the Nike factory.  

Society says: OH MY GOD, IT’S SLAVERY!  I CAN’T WATCH!  IT’S SO HORRIBLE!

A Sri Lankan kid loses his job at the Nike factory because we stop outsourcing, and has to go back to making 2 dollars a day.  

Society says: ….*crickets*

So, in short:

40,000 a year = wage slavery

17,000 a year = wage slavery

5,000 a year = blessing

1,300 a year = wage slavery

600 a year = ??? (anyone’s guess)

I’m a twenty-three year old virgin.  That means I haven’t had sex for more than two decades.  So why is that women get to cry for government intervention when they have to stop fucking for two weeks while they save up for their next batch of pills?

(Before you get on that high horse I can smell from here note Obamacare could have stipulated oral contraceptives be requisite only when the woman insured had a medical condition, but it didn’t)

I doubt anyone gives a crap but…

Call of Duty games, in order of best to “worst” in my opinion:

1. Black Ops 

2. Modern Warfare (original)

3. World at War

4. Black Ops 2

5. Modern Warfare 2

(I did play Call of Duty 2 but I think it’s been too long to include that)

Why do I feel this way?  Well, first off, I judge the games based primarily on their campaigns.  All the multiplayers sort of bleed together for me.  And in terms of campaign.  Let me go through my choices one by one: 

1. Black Ops I.  Why?  Best story, nice and gritty, and an incredible variety in enemy and weapon type (the fact that they included a WWII level that did not feel out of place at all was awesome).  The campaign had a little bit of everything.  I even got to fight British commandos.  Oh joy!

The downside, of course, was that it was “barely interactive”, but I’ll accept that.

2. Modern Warfare, the original.  Why?  Well, aside from its originality, setting the standard for all the upcoming entries in the franchise, it just had a down to Earth feel that everything subsequent (except WaW) lacked, since they weren’t trying to go for an epic story.  The campaign was hearty, and it was just a really solid shooter.

3. World at War.  In many ways, this game was subpar.  For example, the character voices seemed to be coming from the wrong location all the time, and the enemy AI was glitchy (you could often pass right by them and they wouldn’t shoot you).  BUT, it was refreshing to see a gritty take on World War II that didn’t reak of comic-book.  And it was nice to finally get to fight the Japanese after fighting their friends to the West in about a thousand other games.  And the soundtrack was awesome.  A creative and gritty mix of rock, orchestral, and techno that somehow manages to still fit the time period.

4. Blacks Ops II.  This game basically sucks until the invasion of Panama begins, then it becomes awesome.  It starts off with bad texture work, confusing narrative, clumsily scripted events, and gruesome violence that seems tastelessly shoe-horned in.  But after the point I mentioned, it becomes a whole lot of fun!  Raul Menendez is a great character, fighting bots is a refreshing twist, and I absolutely love the inclusion of Deus Ex style player choices. Killing Raul Menendez had to be the most satisfying kill in videogame history.  Killing the bad guy when you have to in order to progress is one thing.  Killing him when you have the choice is another.

5. Modern Warfare 2.  Did it have its moments?  Definitely.  And, sick though I may be, I really loved getting to play as a terrorist.  But it was also buggy for me.  Lagging, freezing, and crashing.  Infact, I couldn’t even finish the game and had to watch the ending on youtube.  Then, of course, was the story, which had so many loose ends.  Not to mention the whole T141 or whatever your little justice league was called seemed really comic-book like and cheesy.  Also, why does fighting Spetnaz feel exactly like fighting thugs in basketball Jerseys in the Favela?  Not to mention, the campaign was mighty short.   And, multiplayerwise…I’m annoyed enough when I have to use Russian weapons playing as a US Marine, but seeing a bunch of Brazillian gangsters call in a harrier jet is a whole new kind of slap in the face to realism.

I believe Fallout 3 nailed the way leveling should be done in an RPG.

That is all.

If the internet has taught me anything, it’s how remarkably little age has to do with intelligence.  

And how remarkably little intelligence the average person my age has.

If there’s one thing I hate about girls its how they encourage so much decadence and materialism in us.  

I have to chose between being a vain prick who throws away 200 dollars on designer jeans while people starve in Africa, or being in the out crowd.